Ashley sucks.

The Office - Customer Service - Season 5

Michael: Here's what's going to happen, I am going to have to fix you--manage you two on a more personal scale, on a a more micro form of management. Jim, what is that called?

Jim: Microgament.

Michael: Boom. Yes.

(Awesome Jim expression)

Michael: Now Jim is going to be the client. Dwight, you are going to have to sell to him without being aggressive, hostile, or difficult. Let's go.

Dwight: Alright. Fine. Brrrriiinggg, bring.

Jim: Hello.

Dwight: Hello, this is Dwight Schrute from the Dunder Mifflin Paper Company.

Jim: Wow, that's great, cause I need paper.

Dwight: Excellent! Then you are in luck because we are having a limited time sale offer only on ev-er-y-thing.

Jim: Wow. This is my lucky day.

Michael: Ask him his name.

Dwight: What is your name sir?

Jim: I am Bill Buttlicker.

Dwight: ......Really? That's your real name?

Jim: How dare you? My family BUILT this country, BY THE WAY..

Michael: Be respectful, Dwight, please.

Dwight: Yes, Michael.

Jim: Can you hold on one second? That's my other line.

Dwight: What? No. But I---

Jim: Hello? Yeah. (chuckling) No, I'm just on the phone with this STUPID salesman. He's SO dumb. Probably just gonna keep him on the line forever and not buy anything.

Okay.

(pretends to click back to Dwight)

Michael (to Dwight): It's up to you to change his mind.

Jim: Sorry, that was a family emergency.

Dwight: Oh no. What's wrong?

Jim: You know what? That's private.

Michael: Boundaries, Dwight! Come on!

Dwight: I'm sorry, Mr. Buttlicker, as I was saying, we are having a -

Jim: Sorry, you're gonna have to speak a little bit louder. I'm hard of hearing.

Michael: He's hard of--He's an old man. Let's go.

Dwight (speaking slightly louder): Okay, as I was saying, right now---

Jim: Have to talk louder.

Dwight (louder): Okay, our prices have never been lower--

Jim: Son, you have to talk louder!

Dwight (almost yelling): Never been lower!

Jim: LOUDER, SON!

Dwight: BUTTLICKER! OUR PRICES HAVE NEVER BEEN LOWER!!!

Michael: Stop it.

Dwight: He--

Michael: That is totally inappropriate. You never yell at the client. You never yell at the client.

Jim: Now listen to me, sir.

Michael: There you go.

Jim: The three words I would describe you as is aggressive, hostile, and definitely difficult. I am IRATE right now!

Michael: (to Dwight) Give me the phone. Give me the phone.

Dwight: Please give me another chance.

Michael: Give me the phone.

Dwight: Mr. Buttlicker.

Michael: Give me the phone.

Dwight: I have to put you on with my boss.

Jim: Well, I should hope so.

Jim: Who is this?

Michael: This is Michael Scott, Regional Manager.

Jim: Well, this is William M. BUTTlicker.

Michael: Hello, Mr. Buttlicker, how may we help you?

Jim: Michael, I like the sound of your voice. You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna buy one million dollars worth of paper products today.

Michael: (excited) See how it's done? Thank you very much, sir. I don't think you'll regret this.

Dwight: You are the master.

Jim: There is one condition. You have to fire the salesman who treated me so terribly.

Dwight: Don't do it. Michael...

Michael: It's a million dollar sale.

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